Because Life is Hard

Right now life is hard....it's hard to get out of bed each morning...it's hard to go to bed a night...it's hard to wait on tables of happy people....it's hard to read people's happy posts on facebook. Life is hard. 

My best friend of 23 years was taken from me and I don't know how to live a life where she isn't in it. Every single day, almost every single hour I see something that reminds me of her. I'm running out of ideas to keep going. I'm trying to think of the good, the 23 years of memories I have of her:

The home videos at Grandmas
The fishing and swimming all.day.long
The Woodrows (our band we created while sitting on the top of a woodpile)
Meeting in the woods between our houses
Sleeping in the same bed at least once a week
Setting up an obstacle course in my bedroom after watching Cadet Kelly
"Never cupped, always laced"
Mary-Kate and Ashley marathons
The Spice Girls, Aaron Cater, Backstreet Boys
Minute Maid Juice Pops and Flintstones Push Ups.
Shopping....so.much.shopping
Our "Girls Rule, Boys Drool" shirts...actually, all of our matching clothes, hats, and purses. 
Mario, Pokemon, Donkey Kong
HAMTARO...Little Hamsters, Big Adventures!!
Barbies and Bratz
"Speak"
Our websites...
"Be Nice to Grandma!"
"Thanks grama"
A Goofy Movie-"Stand out, above the crowd"
"Arnie...."
You always had a crush on Arnold from Hey Arnold
The drive at 2:00am to Kinmundy
"Close your eyes!"
Sledding
You were with me when my two front teeth were knocked out
Rino
"Everybody Mingle"
Your monkey PJs...mine had mice on them
Lightyear, Buzz
Woods, Elle
"DUH....a big red truck"
You and CB's stupid Jelly Shoes
That time we tried to catch that Water Moccasin
Your eye patch
You wouldn't stay in the pool if anyone got out to go pee, because you were scared of alligators 
The Creepettes!
Mermaids in Grandma's pool
That time we took our pictures at the lake and made CB sit on the rock by herself

(These are just a few and these only go up until 2004...)

Today two things happened the the first thing I thought was "I need to text Lana and tell her that..." Then it hit me and my heart was broken..again. I can't believe that you are gone, I cry everyday because I miss your voice, your laugh, your stupid jokes, the fact that you didn't know what pumpkin cheesecake was, the inside jokes we talked about daily. 

I miss you Lonnie Doodle, I miss you so much, but I know that you are with Jesus, and that someday we will be together again. Thank you for being my best friend and making more memories with me than anyone else. 

I'm learning to live my life without you, but I feel like it is not getting any easier. Someday I'll be able to tell my children about you. The people outside of our family don't completely understand our relationship, we are so much more than best friends and so much more than cousins. 

I will never forget....I love you, my love! 

My Advice for Young Girls

1. Be classy, not trashy

2. It's okay to go a day without makeup

3. It's also okay to go a day without your phone (just make sure you tell your parents, so they don't think you're dead.

4. Don't throw yourself at boys

5. Don't flirt with other girls' boyfriends

6. Guys can be some of the best friends you'll find.

7. Spend A LOT of time with your parents and grandparents, I promise they have cooler things to say than you think.

8. Don't be embarrassed to go in public with them either.

9. Let your hair be natural, flat irons are overrated.

10. It's not cool or classy to brag about being drunk.

11. Treat people with respect

12. Have a girls night and eat lots of junk food.

13. It's okay to cry over a boy, just not too long.

14. Don't be ashamed of the things you love that aren't "cool."

15. Read romance novels

16. Paint your nails

17. You can tan too much.

18. Don't sleep in your makeup....EVER.

19. Don't date boys who don't treat you like a princess...but NEVER act like one.

20. Shake hands when you meet new people

21. Say please, thank you, ma'am, and sir.

22. Hold the door for people.

23. Having a guy open the car door for you is overrated, you can open your own door.

24. It's okay to have a Friday night in with your family.

25. Try hard in school

26. Always think about others before yourself

27. Don't use people

28. Don't make fun of people, it solves nothing.

29. Befriend the people who are made fun of.

30. Cartoons are better than reality TV.

31. Wear clothes that fit.

32. Stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.

33. Name brands aren't worth the money.

34. Look good.....feel good.

35. Take vitamins

36. Learn to cook/bake.

37. Listen when people talk.

38. Be unique.

39. Dream big.

40. Have a great group of girls whom love the same stuff you do.  

Number One

I haven't blogged in so long I think I may have forgotten how to. 

Things are going great:
The Blues are number one in the league!!
I saw Pentatonix live yesterday and OH MY GOSH! It was the most perfect thing I have ever seen!!
Today is Matt's birthday, and we spent the day at the arcade.
My job is going really great, I love it and am making good money. 
I got a library card and have read some AMAZING books lately
The weather is finally staring to get nice.
Next week we are going to a Blues game.

Life is good.

Life is Good

Since we have been here I have gotten even more addicted to TV than I was before. Since everywhere these days only accepts online applications I never even got out of my PJ's to apply for jobs. I would apply for about 3 jobs a day while watching Star Trek, What Not to Wear, or Raising Hope. The fact that I didn't have a job was really getting me depressed and I was starting to go under. I didn't want to leave the house, or get dressed or anything. I was really awful. Matt would force me to put clothes on and we would go to the comic book shop and just look around and what not. But, those days are over because I GOT A JOB!!! I will be serving at a restaurant which I cannot wait to start. 

Matt and I have gotten addicted to a show called Arrow which is on Netflix, go watch it now!! It is literally one of the best shows I have ever watched. It is AMAZING!!! We also are really into The Food Network, we love Kitchen Nightmares, Restaurant Impossible, and Cutthroat Kitchen. We stay up until like 3am watching one of these shows. 

Life here is good, finally! I was starting to really stress about the job situation but God has provided, as he always does. 

Life is good!

Update...again

We have been here almost 2 weeks and that is insane! I am 100% in love with living here, I may never leave. Yesterday my sister drove 35 MINUTES and she was at my house, now remember she lives in STL so when I lived back home it was almost a 2 hour drive. we went to lunch and had a blast. Everything is so close to us, book stores, Best Buy, an amazing comic book shop that we have been to twice in two days. 

The job hunt is coming along, I have applied at a few day cares one is looking promising, so keep praying. Matt is enjoying his classes so far, he loves his theatre class, which he was really worried about. 

Everything is going well, we are getting used to where everything is and whatnot. 

What Has Been Going On!

Well, my last update was really really short and I apologize for that. This entry will be much more informative, so lets start all the way back with Christmas. 

Matt and I had a really nice Christmas. We spent Christmas Eve with my dad's family. We had a great dinner and opened gifts. We got gift cards, clothes, money, and a few other things. On Christmas day we went to my mom's mom's house and my whole family was there. It was loud and crazy like always. My grandma went crazy on the food like always, it was delicious. Last Christmas my grandma started quilting for the first time. It all started with her finding Grinch fabric and she got the idea to make a quilt for my Grinch obsessed cousin. After that one was done she decided to make another called a String Quilt, where you just take scraps of fabric and sew them altogether. I helped her make this one so she said I could have it. From there she decided to make all the grandgirls a quilt, then it turned into making the grandboys one, then the significant others of the grandkids, then it went to her kids. So, in total my grandma made 15 quilts in a year and gave them away for Christmas. It wasn't a surprise, we all knew we were getting them, some knew what theirs would look like and some did not. For the most part she made them with things each person liked (except me, my two aunts, and my mom.) She was so excited for each of us to see ours. 

Grinch

Puppies having Halloween!!!

Veggies, for my Vegetarian sister

My String

Baking stuff for my Chef brother

And of course Captain America for Matt

That night we went to Matt's grandpa's house and played games and ate chili. 

Between Christmas and New Years my best friend Amber, (whom now lives hours from me) and I made a trip to see our old teacher/coach/friend who just had a double lung transplant. Matt and I have always been close with Brandi and she has been sick her whole life. We have prayed for her and finally she got new lungs!! I was so happy Amber called me to go with her. Brandi looked better than I have seen her look in a really long time. 

Brandi is the one laying down. 

On New Years we went bowling with the radio station Matt worked at, I had not been bowling in a long time. It was so fun and I beat Matt all three time! After that we went to our friend Nathaniel's house and played games and Hide-n-Seek (a tradition we always do.) It was so great to ring in the new year with friends we have had a long time but hadn't hung out with in awhile. 

Matt hated this game

My Nath

We are one crazy group!

Photo Bombed!

We took our youth kids to Youth Encounter three days after Christmas, which was amazing. While I was there my right side really started itching, but I thought it was just an allergic reaction to something so I kept itching it and not really worrying about it. Well, it wouldn't go away so I showed my mom and she said she thought it was Shingles. She was right. I went to the doctor three days ago and I have been diagnosed with Shingles. My, however were opposite of how most people get them. My itched first, then got painful and burned, when usually it is the other way around. I have to take 5 pills a day for a week! This in turn, means that I have been moving with Shingles. OUCH!

Saturday we moved into our new place! Thanks to some amazing people in our church. It was stressful and overwhelming, but we made it! Our new home is bigger than we thought it would be, with a lot of storage space. I met two of our neighbors and they were wonderful! We are excited to start our new lives here and when this snow clears up, it is job hunting time (although I have already applied at 8 places.)

This is our balcony

We have had a super busy and stressful holiday season, but it has been wonderful. Thank you to those who have been so helpful financially, prayerfully, and physically. We could not have done it without you.

Until next time...I MISS YOU OLD CHURCH!!!

Update

Well, the time has come and we are officially moved in! Our apartment is way bigger than we expected. Three guys from church offered to move us and I will never be able to thank them enough. I have no idea how we would have done it without them. THANK YOU!  We are in and everything that is important is unpacked. 

Not only have we moved but I also have Shingles. It is without a doubt one of the most painful things I have ever gone through. Please pray, I am miserably! It has been a super stressful few weeks/days!