Interview

My really good friend and fellow missionary did an interview with me on her blog. Give it a read and let me know what you think, also...follow her blog.
Ally's Blog 

What Women are Getting Sick Of...

As I am getting older there is one thing that is starting to weigh heavy on my heart. Call me a feminist if you will but I am getting sick of the things people say to girls/women. We were raised by three people; an independent grandmother who raised 4 kids and 8 grand kids while grandpa was gone working. She hung ceiling fans, fixed toilets, and built chicken coops. We also were raised by a mother who taught us we could do anything we put our mind to, and a single father who taught us about hockey, living on a farm, and how to properly shake a person's hand. Maybe that is why we are the way we are, and that is why as we get older we continuously get angry when people say things like "you have a firm handshake...for a girl." I mean really, is that supposed to be a compliment? I think I'm going to start saying that sort of thing to men.

For those of you who don't know me very well let me start by telling you this, because this is where this post started to develop in my brain. I love hockey, the St. Louis Blues are my team, but if there are other games on channels that I receive, they will be on my TV. I know a lot about hockey and not just Blues hockey. I know players, teams, stats, rules, coaches...you get my point. My dad raised me to love hockey and as I got older I fell away from it, but have found myself falling in love with the sport and my local team all over again.

It all started a few months ago when I was at work with the Blues game on the TVs, as I walked past the bar I glanced at the TV and saw that we had just scored. All I could see on the TV when I walked by was our number 26 celebrating, I couldn't read the last name on his jersey, I just saw the number. I said, "oh yeah Stastny," as I walked by. Someone at the bar looked at me and said, "wow, you know names just by seeing their numbers?" I instantly felt angry. Would he have said that to a man? I'm pretty sure we all know the answer to that. Then, just two nights ago I was just having a casual chat with a coworker (a Red Wings fan) about back up goalies. This is how our conversation went:
Me:  "man I feel so bad for Bryzgalov, the Ducks backup, he is really struggling."
Him: "I can't believe you know his name."
Me: "why, because I'm a girl?"
Him: "Well, yeah."
I get so sick of having to prove to men that I know just as such about a sport as other men do. 
-Sierra

When discussing "sexism" and misogyny, a major sticking point has always been "how do you know if something that's been said is actually offensive"? Of course there are many shades of grey and no simple answer to this but a good rule of thumb is always "would you say that to a man?" In most traditionally male dominated areas (sports and, lets face it, almost any profession) the answer is often times "yeah...no way."

I've been in the restaurant business for over ten years, part as a server and mostly as a bartender and there are examples everyday of little comments and questions directed at me that would never be said to a man in my position. Most of these are along the lines of "do you know anything about whiskey?" or my personal favorite "do you even know how to make a Manhattan?" The underlying assumption being that I have no clue what I'm doing and was just hired based on my gender. I've actually had somebody say that to my face, but that's another story. One particular incident that will always stick out in my mind happened several months ago at the place I'm currently working. A gentleman sat down and asked what rye I would suggest for a Manhattan and I told him what my favorite was at the time. He immediately laughed it off and let me know that particular one wasn't good enough for him. Whatever, I made his drink with his choice and shrugged it off. Some time later our bearded, rugged, manly chef came behind the bar and this customer started chatting him up about whiskey. He asked Chef what his favorite was and of course Chef said the one I had suggested (its a damn good rye). Chef poured this guy a shot and lo and behold, the customer loved it. He even went so far as to look at me and go "wow, guess I owe you an apology!" But the point had already been made. The 120 pound girl in a dress couldn't possibly know what she was talking about, even if she is a trained professional. Thank God there was a man there to let this fellow man know that it was okay to try the whiskey and he wouldn't start his period instantly (or whatever it is that idiots think will happen if they treat a woman like a person).

The question remains however, "what's the big deal?" Is it really that bad to have to answer a few dumb questions or fend off a few ignorant remarks? To understand why a woman might get so angry about this you have to, like in so many other social situations, look not at the words said, but the sentiment behind them. More often than not I cant shake the feeling that the underlying message is "its your duty as a woman to prove yourself to me". Men at hockey game aren't asked if they know the players numbers because they belong there. They don't have to prove themselves because in the mind of the other men they have earned their right to be a fan simply by existing. A male bartender isn't impressive when they know whiskey because its understood they deserve their job...because they're a man. Until we start to really ask ourselves why it is that men feel a god given right to any space they choose to inhabit and any hobby they choose for themselves, we're always going to have to prove to them that we "deserve" the respect they take for granted everyday. And I'm always going to be angry about it.

-Kandi

Sincerely,

The Millers

Movie Suggestions

Hey Friends! This year I am trying my best to relax and enjoy the good things in life. I think too many times we are so stressed out about work, school, money, family issues, etc that we forget that life is good. One way I want to do this is by watching more movies, sounds crazy I know, but I want to take life slow instead of going 100 miles a minute. In order for me to do this, I need your help. Please comment either on the Facebook post or on this post and tell me a movie or movies that you want me to see. By the end of the year I want to watch all the movies my friends have suggested. Get creative, pick a movie that isn't super well known. If someone picks a movie that I have watched recently I MAY not watch it again, but if its been awhile since I've seen it I'd love to watch it again. Please just keep in mind that I recently lost my best friend so please no super sad movies about death, for example My Sister's Keeper, also please no SUPER horror movies, I don't do super scary. After I watch the movie I will write a short blog about it and post it to Facebook. 

What is one movie you'd love for me to see....ready....set....GO! 

Seven years...

This exact time seven years ago I was spending my days, every day, all day, texting a boy I had met only a month earlier. On September 21, 2007 I went out on a limb and said yes to going on a date with that boy. A week later on September 28 we became Matt and Sierra, and have been ever since. Finding my future husband at the age of 18 was not what I had planned, but my plans didn't matter. 

He as brought me into a world of Christian metal, video games, Raiders football, only childhood, impressions, songs..so many songs, and more laughter than I could have ever imagined possible. I brought him into a world of books, siblings, farm life, swimming, fishing, holding hands, cupcakes, and laughs that include snorts. We strive to be the type of couple that make people believe in love again. We fight, sometimes yell (well I yell, he never yells) but mostly we just laugh. I never in a million years would have thought that someone would make me laugh as much as he does. Being around Matt is kinda like always being around a puppy. It is hard to hate Matt, just like it is hard to hate a puppy. 

We aren't like a lot of married people, we spend a lot of time doing our own things, and it works. He goes out of town with Beholder and I sit at home and watch more TV than I ever should, and it works. I go and stay weekends with my siblings and Matt hangs with his friends or family, and it works. It works because making a mountain out of a mole hill will destroy a relationship. I am by no means saying we are perfect or that we have it all figured out, but I am saying we make a pretty great team. I work with a guy who has told us on more than one occasion that we are the best married couple he has ever met, and let me tell you, nothing makes me more happy than that. 

The past seven years have not been a cake walk, but they have been perfectly imperfect. Perfection doesn't exist, but I'd like to think that I'm living the closest thing to it. 

So, here is to seven years Matty. Thank you for always being a shoulder to cry on, a high five, a kiss, a good laugh when I need it, but most importantly thanks to excepting me, and all my imperfections, oh and the fact that not only did you marry me, but you married Kandi, Garrett, and Dagger too.

The second picture of us ever taken, circa 2007

Why Our Generation Sucks

As I walked around campus today it hit me that our generation sucks. Now, this isn't to make anyone mad, and I am part of all this, so don't hate me. So why does our generation suck? I think it can be summed up in two words: smart phones. As a server I see couples or families coming out to eat and every single one of them are on their phone instead of talking. I hate that, when did we stop even being able to talk to our family?

We have come so dependent on phones that we have forgotten how to be real people. We don't want to talk on the phone, we want to text. Now, texting really is a great thing, and I do it a lot, but the fact that it is replacing our actual conversations is heart breaking. It is like we have forgotten how to be a human and we are kinda like robots. One thing that I hate more than anything is when I'm trying to talk to someone and they are texing someone else. Really, you can't just wait to text back until our conversation is over? 

The fact that Facebook and Twitter are at our fingertips 100% of the time is really annoying. Once again, I am including myself in this, because I check Facebook a lot. If you walk into a classroom 5 minutes before it starts, I promise you will see over half of the people sitting there on Facebook or Twitter. Is everyone else's lives so exciting that we must know everything they are doing? Why do we post our whole lives for the world to see? What happened to privacy? The fact that we can't use Facebook only in our free time means we have forgotten about real people interaction. Back in the day when I would walk into the classroom on that first day I would always strike up a conversation with someone sitting near me, but now I don't. Why? I don't need to, I'm checking out the world of Facebook. Apparently reading about a kid I spoke to twice in high school  going to the grocery store is much more exciting than meeting a new person, right? Wrong. 

The dumbest social media outlet that has taken over is Snapchat. I have Snapchat, and every time I send a snap I think to myself, this is so dumb, why am I doing this.  What is the point of sending a picture to someone that they can only see for like 10 seconds? We have forgotten how to really chat and now we just know how to Snapchat. 

So how does this mean that our generation suck? We suck because we are robots! We don't create friendships like we used to, we can't have real conversations, and we no longer talk on the phone. We are a social group of people and the only way we know how to be social is while looking at a screen. 

I'm not saying texting, Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat are bad, I'm saying the addiction they have created is. Count how many times you get on Facebook, Twitter, or Snapchat in a day. I think the number will amaze you. Try having a real conversation with someone, instead of being glued to your phone. Look up, see the beauty in people and in the world around you. Notice other people's faces, their voice, what they are saying instead of posting.  Let's learn to be a humans again, let's pull away from the fact that we are turning into robots. 

Saber

On Sunday Matt and I went to my grandma's and saw something very small in the middle of the road. At first I thought it was a rabbit, but as we got closer we realized it was a kitten. When we got closer to the kitten it ran into a cornfield. We pulled over and I climbed out. As soon as I said "here kitty kitty," it ran right up to me and meowed. I picked her up and she climbed all over me and Matt in the car. We got her to my grandma's and gave her some food. She ate almost a whole can of cat food. We followed me around and wanted to be held and petted the whole time. 

Long story short as much as we wanted to keep her, we could not because we live in an apartment. My sister did end up taking her! We brought her home for one night until my sister could get her the next day. We is an amazing kitty. Wants to love and cuddle you, slept all night long, instantly used the litter box. She is perfect. I'm so glad Kandi took her because I get a picture of her everyday and I can still cuddle her and see her grow. In the less than 24 hours we had her I fell in love with her. Named dubbed her "Cutie" but her real name is Saber. 

We are so thankful we were able to save her life and now she has a great life with a big brother who loves to play, even though she only wants to play with pieces of paper. She went to the vet today, she is 6 months old and weighs 2 lbs. She got wormed and flied and all her shots. 

Relaxing with her new mom

run.

Matt is a Mass Communication major, which means he makes a lot of videos for school. He loves it, and so do I because I get to act again, something that I've been doing since 7th grade, but don't do that often any more. I also help him come up with ideas for videos. He is very talented in filming, and he didn't even know it. 

Getting the right shot, is hard work

And....action

Click below to see the video 
Our video from today