Change is something I usually LOVE! I was raised in three different homes, back and forth ALL THE TIME! My mom moved all the time, I'm used to not being in the same place for too long. Since we have been married, Matt and I have moved 3 times, it is something I'm okay with. This move however, is breaking my heart. Don't get me wrong, I am ECSTATIC to move to Edwardsville, it is 25 minutes from my siblings, my best friend Danny lives there, my old pal Nath lives there, there is always stuff going on there, I can't wait.
BUT
As I sit in my office at the church and people tell me "you are going to truly be missed"..."what are we going to do without you guys"...."we can't replace you guys"..."I can't believe you are leaving"...etc, my heart breaks more and more. People have even said "you guys have done some amazing things at the church....more than you realize." I'm not saying all this to brag on Matt and myself, because we didn't do those things....God did. He blessed me with a passion for kids/teens, he gave Matt the passion for learning and sharing that with others. We do what we do because it was what the Lord called us to do at our church.
As I write this, I can feel the tears building behind my eyes...I didn't think it would be this hard. On Sunday at my AWANA table I felt like someone hit me in the stomach with a baseball bat, it hit me all at once, I'm going to have to tell these kids who have become part of my family that I am leaving. Every week most of them come with their verses already memorized and they can't wait to prove to me that they know it. They smile from ear to ear when I give them a high five or act totally shocked when they memorized a really long verse. I have a Kindergartener at my table as well, and he is the only one who can't read so him and I work so hard on his verses and sometimes he doesn't even get one memorized in a night, but we work hard and I know he is trying. When he smiles cause he got a part right it melts my heart. When I stand in front of all the kids and act like a fool, jumping around and singing and dancing while they follow along the best the can I feel like the happiest person in the world.
When I think about leaving my youth group I almost cry...every....time. We had our very last lock-in of all time a few weeks ago...it was bittersweet. I can't even put into words how I feel about those kids.
The last two months of my time here have come and I can't handle it. It hurts to wake up and know I have one less day here. I know that we are doing this because it is what the Lord has asked us to do. He has asked Matt to go back to school because He asked me to be a stay at home mom, when the time is right, and in order for that to happened Matt needs a good job.We must be obedient. I can't write anymore right now.
To my church family reading this, you'll never know what you mean to me.
Until we meet again....
Sierra
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