Life

As is sit here alone I can't help but not write. I haven't been alone since my life came crashing down on top of me. I'm not good alone, I think too much when I'm alone. It has been over two weeks and it still feels like I'm going to wake up any moment and everything will be okay, but I know that will never happen. I try my hardest to only talk about the good and not the bad, I seem to be doing a pretty good job at being successful, but when I'm alone and I have no one to talk to I find myself thinking about the bad. 

I keep telling myself that I can do this, I can make it through this, but then I think I'm not so sure I can. My heart is broken and I don't know what to do. Her and I have such a long history that I see about 100 things a day that make me think of her and when I see these things I fall apart. I lost it at work yesterday because two little girls were covered head to toe in Hello Kitty. Funny things happen everyday that make me want to text her so we can laugh about it, but I can't. 

Life is hard, it is so hard right now. People don't know what to say to me when they see me, my husband doesn't know what to say to take the pain away and it is killing him. No one can take this pain away, I just keep praying that it will get easier some day. I know she is with Jesus, I know she is good where she is, but I'm not good.