The Future

What a scary thought for me, the future. What does my future hold? I have no clue! I know that it DOES hold loving my husband forever, serving my Lord forever, and loving and helping people forever. Those are the ONLY things I am sure of. I don't know where I'll live in a year, where I will work, if I will ever go back to school, I don't know anything. And to be quite honest, I'm okay with not knowing because God know and he really is the only one who needs to know. I'll just pray that I find out someday.

Although I would LOVE to sell everything I own and move to Haiti and love on sweet babies, that is not going to happen. The Lord has not called Matt to be a missionary and since He has called us to be married therefore no matter how much I think it stinks He has not called me to be a full time missionary. I will go to Haiti or anywhere else He asks me to go for a short period of time and maybe someday I'll have a job where I am able to go for several weeks at a time, but we will wait and see what God has planned. I 100% believe that Matt is to be a pastor in America, although I wish he is supposed to be a pastor in Haiti, that if MY plan, not His. 

Growing up I never knew a missionary or really what a missionary was, I didn't know people moved to broken and hurting countries to tell its people about our Lord and Savior. When I was in high school I met a really good friend, who had been a missionary in Sri Lanka. I was fascinated by her family and the stories they told. Then as I got older I started hearing a little bit more about missionaries, then I met my now best friend Arica who lived in Mexico and what not. Then when I went to a Christian College it was a HUGE thing for people to go on mission trips for months or years at a time. I was so interested in the idea of being a missionary! So when I had the chance to go to Haiti I was all over it. I never thought I would be going back so soon and for three weeks!

The Lord has put missions on my heart but He has not called me to be a full time missionary, as much as it stinks. He has called me to be a wife, and in order for me to do that I am stuck here in America. 

I don't know what I will be "when I grow up," I don't have the slightest clue. What I hope will happen is that I will become a loving homeschooling mother, continue to be a better wife, go back to Haiti a few more times, go to Africa, be the light of Jesus in the darkest parts of the world, even America has dark parts!

Until next time...Jeremiah 29:11