Dreams

I have been having dreams about Lana, at first I was really nervous about the thought of having dreams about her, but they are comforting, actually. In them I hear her voice perfectly, which is something I have been longing for. I have never been the type of person that has really vivid or put together dreams, they are just here and there and never really create a story, so I just have bits and pieces of her.

The first one I was sitting in her old room at her dad's house with her sister just hanging out, and she came back from being gone for a long time (I don't know where she was,) and when she came back we hugged forever. She told me how much she loved and missed me and that I was like a sister to her. 

The next one was she was getting ready to leave for a long time and she wanted to see me before she left. She told me how much I meant to her and that I would always hold a special place in her heart that no one else would ever hold.

The third one was just very short and all I remember was that she was in it.

I know how Lana felt about me, and I know that we had a relationship unlike any other, but it was really nice to hear her say it again. I'm not saying that her and I had a better friendship than any of her other friends, we just had a longer more sisterly one. I have been keeping a journal about every time I want to text or talk to her, which has also been comforting. 

I actually have been doing pretty good lately, I catch myself crying a lot less (it still happens), but not as much. I'm learning to keep thinking about the good and not the bad. I want more than ANYTHING to see her again and laugh with her again, but I know someday that will happen, but right now I have to just wait to see her in my sleep.

I love you Lonnie, and remember, "never cupped always laced!"